I say your uncle was a crooked French Canadian

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 00:27:37 GMT

i can't write in this anymore
i'm starting fresh

http://myyyhypothesis.wordpress.com/

i'm there now

mhm

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 05:37:01 GMT

neat picture, yeah?

FOLLOWING POSTS ARE NOW FRIENDS ONLY

can't believe I've waited so long to do this :-/

i'm sorry

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 08:14:41 GMT

I give.
My hands are up.
I'm on my knees choking on my own bile.
I give.

I cut last night. Twice on the usual spot.
The skin seems so much rougher than before.
And a million times more sensitive.

I wasn't all that hesitant, really.
I know how to hide it and I know who to avoid.
Intentions of stopping this time?
Oh ho hoo..maybe.
Most likely.

will I post this information to the razors community?
chh, maybe. all depends.

I'm just tired of trying.
I put all of my effort into something and someone.
I'm exhausted.

WIND

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 02:43:34 GMT

I love that boy
I always have and I always will
It's something that you just know
Regardless of the distance and the long periods of silence

I finally told him this [after not seeing each other for a year]
But it didn't matter to him
He just held me, trying to comfort me
And he only held me because I was crying

I never made an impact on his life
He doesn't think about me
He doesn't know what happened this past year [and that most of it was his fault]
I just wasn't the girl to break him at all.

I don't matter to him and my words don't matter to him.

I'm tired of being like this.

and you know, he wasn't here through any of it. he wasn't HERE. he wasn't around. he never had the slightest idea of "omg. that one girl..could she be....could she be suffering?!?!". fuck

conduit

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:29:17 GMT

"Anyone here had a go at themselves
for a laugh? Anyone opened their wrists
with a blade in the bath? Those in the dark
at the back, listen hard. Those at the front
in the know, those of us who have, hands up,
let's show that inch of lacerated skin
between the forearm and the fist. Let's tell it
like it is: strong drink, a crimson tidemark
round the tub, a yard of lint, white towels
washed a dozen times, still pink. Tough luck.
A passion then for watches, bangles, cuffs.
A likely story: you were lashed by brambles
picking berries from the woods. Come clean, come good,
repeat with me the punch line 'Just like blood'
when those at the back rush forward to say
how a little love goes a long long long way."

-"I Say I Say I Say," Simon Armitage

mmm<3

quick update on some..events: ~~TRUST~~

just give

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 06:29:16 GMT

So my birthday, it's this Friday and stuff.
It was looking good for a while there. Really good.
Lots and lots and lots of fun.
Not so much now.
It'll probably just end up being me, the stars, and a blanket.

Something always fucking happens.

I can't keep doing this shit.
I can't be like this.

I won't mind

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 08:07:55 GMT

So my friend, he sent me this Slayer video thing.
[no idea why. I hate Slayer]
It was just this guy carving slayer into his arm.
I got jealous.

Also, I read this book a few days ago. "cut". [not the best book but still inspiring]
Yeah. It's kind of about us. The few and the proud. har.
This girl gets admitted into a psychiatric hospital.
Another girl makes a comment about cutters [this girl was a drug addict]

It was something like:
"They think we have a problem just because we like to party a little bit. But what they do, now that's crazy".

Which got me really thinking, we don't have the right to judge anybody or their addictions.
We all have our own problems, they're all the same.
Different names for the same thing. [that was cheezy of me. I'm sorry DCFC]
To look at somebody and say "Jeez. They're fucking nuts".
Or even to go as far as saying "Well their assortment problems could never compare to mine".
No, that's rude and hypocritical in some senses.

To sum it up..it doesn't matter if we're doing a line every night
If we're gulping down the rest of the bottle to make things seem nice for just a little longer
If we're hanging our heads over a toilet desperately trying to dispose of a previously eaten dinner
Or even if we're carving up our body, grabbing at whatever clarity we can find
It's all the same--we're all the same. We're kindred.

official end of babble :]

-Randi

I need you so much closer

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 03:27:00 GMT

So I've been watching The Virgin Suicides a lot. [a must see]
And reading. Lots of reading.

I'm getting my routine back down.
I need my sleep.

Lauren and I might go see Death Cab For Cutie.
:]]]]]]]]]

Oh, and I think I'm going to start writing again.
Just slowly :-/

conduit

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 06:20:05 GMT

old habits die hard

shit >:[

conduit

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 02:27:16 GMT

I can't see the forest for the trees

i'm afraid of everything

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 06:15:58 GMT

so things were very confusing for a while there.
terribly confusing.
everything's been solved for now.

I have an aching feeling that they're going to get a lot worse in the future, though.
until then, I'll just watch The Weatherman.
and figure out the meaning of life
whatever :]

oh! new hairdoo tomarrow.
I've got an appointment.
It'll be crazy awesome!

and sarah's back from the beach. which is kickin' yo.
I've missed her like woahh

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 08:22:06 GMT

I'm going on a vacation.
Don't call me
Don't write
yeah yeah?

fuck

conduit

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 04:32:23 GMT

I woke up in a funk 13 months ago.
Things have been very uncomfortable like that ever since :-/

so I'm wearing my silly hat.
it makes me feel silly.
not really, but it's nice to have it on.
it's yellow. but apparently yellow sends signals of anger to your brain.
that's what Lauren Valdivia says.
She's always right.

anyone else miss the snow?

she's shaking like a revolution

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 08:22:55 GMT

people's breakdowns are very triggering
especially when what you say doesn't mean shit to them either way

note to self: don't try to help, faggot

let's go to the movies

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 02:08:11 GMT

So I hated Texas [mostly] because if I started anything real there it wouldn't stick.
If anything meaningful would've happened, I wouldn't be able to take it home.
I can't keep friends that far away. Lebanon is hard enough.

I mean, it's not so much we get bored of each other.
It's just painful and irritating.
Kind of like a nasty STD.

So now I'm stuck with several numbers that don't plan on using.
And it's pretty awful.

I whine too much.
And I normally speak in code.
I'm sorry :-/

much love.

ps- OOOH, Lady in the Water looks like a pretty great movie, eh? I'm a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan <3333

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 04:23:01 GMT

So Texas was absolutely awful :[
Though, I did fall in love with a Cowboy.
He was adorable. People from the South are so much nicer.

So that's why I've decided that I'm running off to Oklahoma.
Living with the cowboy forever, I suppose.

well no, not really. but I do plan on seeing him again.
along with the other pals from Oklahoma and Texas.

Tell Mrs. Cahill and Mrs. Harpster to fuck off

Anthony walked to his death because he thought he'd never feel this way again
If he goes back to the house then things would go from bad to worse, what could he do?
He wants to remember things exactly as he left them on that FUNNY DAY
And if there is something else beyond, he isn't scared because
It's bound to be less boring than today
It's bound to be less boring than tomorrow

tell you all about it some day

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 05:41:11 GMT

So this whole going to Texas thing is very exciting.
And, no, I don't think I'm coming back.

failed heterosexuals

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 06:51:08 GMT

GreenRaincoats (1:39:35 AM): and incase nobody's figured it out, I've kinda got a crush on you
GreenRaincoats (1:39:38 AM): brb
Seven Ice Cubes (1:40:04 AM): thats interesting
GreenRaincoats (1:42:01 AM): back
GreenRaincoats (1:42:02 AM): and yeah it is

GreenRaincoats (1:47:08 AM): so you seriously have nothing more to say to that?
Seven Ice Cubes (1:47:13 AM): hmm?
GreenRaincoats (1:47:27 AM): GreenRaincoats: and incase nobody's figured it out, I've kinda got a crush on you
Seven Ice Cubes (1:47:51 AM): ohh...umm...what do you expect me to say?
GreenRaincoats (1:48:15 AM): I dunno. some sort of remark letting me know how you feel about that?
Seven Ice Cubes (1:48:37 AM): oh...how i feel randi?
GreenRaincoats (1:48:46 AM): lol
GreenRaincoats (1:48:52 AM): oh I forgot. you can't feel
GreenRaincoats (1:48:55 AM): you're a robot
Seven Ice Cubes (1:49:08 AM): if i recall i am "the biggest asshole on planet earth," i cant feel

Seven Ice Cubes (2:05:37 AM): did it snow?
GreenRaincoats (2:05:44 AM): what?!?
GreenRaincoats (2:05:54 AM): paaaaul. any thoughts? if not, let's talk about chocolate milk
Seven Ice Cubes (2:05:56 AM): i think it snowed
GreenRaincoats (2:06:11 AM): bahhh. fuck. I quit
Seven Ice Cubes (2:06:45 AM): okay...fine...we'll talk about my feelings on the subject but i really dont understand what you mean by that
GreenRaincoats (2:07:08 AM): do you care about what I said or not? is it good new or bad news? wtf mate?!?!?
GreenRaincoats (2:07:12 AM): 8-)
Seven Ice Cubes (2:07:39 AM): hey...thats coreys thing...and it definetly isnt bad news

GreenRaincoats (2:29:23 AM): you're still very confusing
Seven Ice Cubes (2:29:29 AM): why?
GreenRaincoats (2:30:25 AM): I say something and the most useful thing I can get back is "it's definitely not bad news"
Seven Ice Cubes (2:30:35 AM): lol...damn
GreenRaincoats (2:30:43 AM): seriously.
Seven Ice Cubes (2:31:22 AM): okay randi...if i told you what you told me, and asked for your feelings on that subject, what would you say?
GreenRaincoats (2:31:54 AM): me? "rad let's hold hands motherfucker". but that's just me
Seven Ice Cubes (2:32:13 AM): rad, lets hold hands motherfucker?
GreenRaincoats (2:32:18 AM): haha. exactly
Seven Ice Cubes (2:32:36 AM): okay randi, fine...
Seven Ice Cubes (2:32:45 AM): rad lets hold hands motherfucker

I dunno. whatever.. I think our conversations are pretty fucking cute.

you don't count

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 01:48:25 GMT

Smity's going to Alabama tomarrow.
He doesn't know if he's coming back at all.
This is a really big experiance for him. It's full of opportunities.
I still wish he'd stay, though.
At least for the rest of the summer. Or something.

Everything's weird.
I've gotta get that TSA shit done.
I'm leaving for Texas Tuesday. Holy shit.
I shouldn't come back to PA.
Just for kicks, y'know. harhar

Cheer up, honey, I hope you can

fuckwit

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 07:01:41 GMT

I hate people places and things

I think I might hide for a little while.
Sleep in caves and holes.
Maybe join the peace corps.
Learn the meaning of life.
Whatever.

I'll call you when I come back.

independentmotherfucker?

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 21:33:06 GMT

Some people are far too fake for my likings right now.
You don't just change out of the blue for everyone else.
You don't go out and buy new stuff to fit an image.

I'm personally happy that this person wants to change.
But this isn't the way you go about it AT ALL

I care about this person tons tons tons.
But things with us always turn out like crap. So blah.

bahbahbah.

>:[

this books all lies

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 00:02:58 GMT

I don't understand anyone at all.
I need to get out of here asap.

There's always the trip to Texas to look forward to.
But it'll probably suck. And the people will probably suck.
A lot.
And we'll probably get some bad placement for construction.
Like last. Or next to last. Which would suck.
A lot.

And then there's the Cursive show in July.
but Ryan probably won't/can't accompany me and stuff.
I would die if I could see them. Absolutely die and cream my pants.
Duuude. gahhhh<333.

You had the whole human race pegged

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 02:06:47 GMT

His pretty noises, can you turn them down?

sorta looks like a lonelyish summer.
I don't know. Too early to tell I guess.

I'm joining marching band. Mhmm :]
I think it sounds welcoming.
And Courtney keeps saying 'hi' after 2 years of not seeing her.
And that's pretty nice, I think.

Things are not good.
I woke up in some strange funk this morning :-/

please don't be a stranger to me

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:20:11 GMT

basically..

GreenRaincoats: ooh but we can't make love in a photobooth!
FuzzytheOG: we can
FuzzytheOG: and we will
GreenRaincoats: promise?
FuzzytheOG: duh of course

summersummersummersummersummersummer

Mon, 29 May 2006 23:30:50 GMT

baaah complete crap
more sleep I say

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine